Friday, December 12, 2008
Decorating the Carnivorous Christmas Tree
Last night we ventured forth to procure the perfect christmas tree, a symbol of the season and the constant renewel of life. No, we did not go into a forest and walk for miles and miles. We did not take our ax and smote a massive evergreen. Instead, we went to the local "Big Jim's" Christmas tree stand and selected our precut and grown at a Christmas tree farm tree. The temperature was hovering around 30 with a brisk wind and quite frankly, I was cold and maybe not as attentive as I usually would have been. I was also slightly distracted, because the Mrs of this mom and pop business was yelling at my son for smoking around the trees. Ok, so he should have known better but he insisted he didn't see a sign and we were outside. So anyway, the tree was the right height, the right shape and the right price, I told my husband, that one is fine and I shuffled up to the RV to pay.
When we arrive back at the house, we have to wrangle it out of the truck, into the house, and sometime in this time frame we discover our tree is of the "sticker bush" variety. I maybe should have felt this tree up a little bit because it is definately NOT decorater friendly. The simple act of applying lights has left me with a burning prickly rash up and down both arms and my hands, and it feels like I have been stung by jelly fish.
Only after we delievered this fiendish tree into our house and mounted it on its round plastic stand, did we notice the gnarled and twisted, impossible-to-make-it-stand-up-straight trunk. After resetting it into the base several times, we decided that it looked alright, even thought it seems as though it is thrusting out it's chest proudly, as if saying, "You got me in here, but I'm not gonna surrender to the likes of YOU".
So today I bring my first granddaughter over to help hang a few ornaments on it, and only after hanging two ornaments, she declared, "Im done, it keeps sticking me." So, I put her to work on the little Norman Rockwell village, as I bravely approched the tree, ornament in hand, to adorn this symbol of the spirit of christmas. Well not only did it stab me repeatedly, but it has the type of limbs that do not support decor. So, yes, I had to twist the hanger on as well as stick my hands back into this vampire tree.
So now, as I write this, my arms and hands are very inflammed and burning. But the tree stands,leaning back, in the corner twinkling merrily away. Now tommorrow I have to water it and put the presents under there..........