Friday, January 2, 2009

New year, Old year.


Years have a way of slipping away when you are not looking, or rather, while you are living in them. I will be happily anticipating spring when suddenly Christmas is looming. All kinds of things emerge in the interim. The thing I have noticed the most is my own reisistance to change. And while change is occuring, it seems as though some things stay the same. Such irony and double standards are nothing new for me. I have become a spectator in my life.
I think many middle aged women can relate to some of this, maybe even understand it but some are thinking..."what the heck is that nut talking about?"

I want to embrace this part of my life but its a little like hugging a rosebush. Im not really fond of this phase. It is prickly and draws little specks of blood and tears my flesh and heart.

I have had much happiness this year, and some disappointment, some grief and alot of unsure-ness. Im not sure where I stand in the big picture anymore. When my children were small, I knew my place exactly. Is this part of the "empty nest syndrome"?
Except my nest isn't empty..LOL.

The new year has lots of promise. And also alot of uncharted territory, "The final frontier", you know, kind of like space.

All I know Is I exist, therefore I am.

Feel free to chip in here...........

1 comment:

trosekay said...

Oh how I know what your talking about! :o) You are not alone!