Monday, February 8, 2010

Moisturization and other matters

It has come to my attention lately that I spend an extraordinary amount of time with skin products and emollients, moisturizers and conditioners, thickeners, smoothers and silkeners and the like. I mean, I know that father time is having his way with me and sucking the juices out of my body like a vampire leech so it's not really a big surprise, it's just sort of annoying for someone who really never has been (and still isn't) a make up-fix-up girl-doll-up kinda gal.

My skin over my hands is beginning to look a bit like parchment paper and what I used to call freckles on my hands are now leering back at me as "liver spots".
Liver spots? What the hell does that mean?
Not to mention how when you pinch up some skin on top of your hand it stays pinched up.....The blue veins are so visible I attract the attention of nurses and other medical personal who are itching to start IV's on me for practice.

My skin on my face was holding up pretty good until I lost the weight of another person and now my forehead is inching its way down over my eyes. Sometimes I actually have to hold it up to see something. Im thinking.....if i could just pull a poney tail up tight enough who needs 10 thou for a facelift, ya know?
Im even thinking about .........gasp..........Botox injections around my eyes because I have to conciously stop squinting them and frowning.

In other words its all going south. Gravity is winning.

Then there is this mole on my jaw that sprouts 4 white hairs every couple of weeks. I yank it out and then one day, just like that, it's back.
Also, When you yank them out, it feels like it is coming out of your neck.

Then there is all the foot and nail care. Nuff said bout that.

So, Let me sum this up. After 50, your body stops making its own oils, grows random hairs wildly, your hair falls out, gets thin, gets white, forehead slips down over eyes and then you go blind and deaf, get grumpier and grumpier then can't remember what you were doing. You may start to pee on yourself too.

Excuse me while I get my Oil of Olay.


OyaSophia said...

Are you watching me via a hidden camera in my bathroom? You just described me to a 'T'. Sucks, don't it? :-)

The only thing we have going for us is that at any moment we will stop caring. Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it ... nope, it hasn't hit me either.

Thanks for the smile!


Jo said...

Hhhmmm, I've already experienced some of what you've mentioned here and I'm just getting to 35 - yipes! ;~)

dragyonfly said...

Its hard to ignore when you feel like you are wrapped up in shrink wrap...and the tips of your fingers catch on anything silky. I, like my friend Ellen, fantasize about high diving into a pool of moisturizer.

Brenda said...

Yes, I have one of those moles on my under chin. How does the hair keeping growing back?
I pluck it out by the root. It is one of those mysteries of nature!

@Jo, you are still young, baby! xoxo!

valentine said...

ok, I'm peeing my wants right now. and i ain't even 40.