Thursday, January 24, 2013

Why she can't write

She oft times sits and ponders
why she squanders to describe
in adjectives and phrases,
her trials and tribulations
believing that to write it down
would make it worse,
or even, perhaps, more real.
The usual struggle with voice ensued,
settling finally on
third person
to put some distance
between herself and it-
the story.

The tale of woe,
the Memoir.
A three headed hydra-
snapping and snarling,
drawing blood with gnashing teeth
claws that snatch
at her soul, her sanity.
Her serenity.

Standing waist deep
in a sea of shit,
holding back hordes
of undead flesh eaters-
the occasional swarm
of killer bees.
Always the magician she
pulls the rabbit from the hat
with a sleight of hand.
Or perhaps a money trick,
like a payoff.

Once more they recede,
to return another day
with renewed vitality .
Once more she again will
pick up the vorpal sword
of words, the pen in one hand
welding the medusa's head in the other;
to turn them all to stone and
still the ever-writhing story
perhaps even to slay it dead.


meeting the bar


AKA said...

The first two stanzas really grabbed my attention because they're so true. Great job :)

Claudia said...

believing that to write it down
would make it worse...ha..interesting thought here..i think the written word def. has some power on its own...also in the other direction..making it better...often writing down the things that bother or scare me helps me sort my thoughts and free my mind of those gargoyles again...smiles...great intensity in this..

Brian Miller said...

there are some stories that take forever in their birthing, always percolating just beneath the surface....if it takes you all your life will it be worth it?

Sabio Lantz said...

Damn, what a predicament
deep in that filthy ferment
all choices a detriment
and that is a compliment

ninotaziz said...

if it doesn't gush out, I leave it alone. Sometimes I abandon the unfinished thought that did not go beyond the title.

You were brutal, Deborah, but that was required. Marvelous.

Laurie Kolp said...

Nice... I especially like the first 2 stanzas, too.

Kim Nelson said...

You rightly paint the pen as liberator. Well done.

Marina Sofia said...

Fascinating imagery - quite a love/hate relationship you have with writing there. I also think of daggers when writing: trying to pin down the story, the words, the feeling, the impression you want to convey. Perhaps sometimes we should let go... with the flow...

Anonymous said...

Some tough lines in this, for sure. Some stories need to be told for their own sake, some for entertainment, and some for cleansing. Swing that vorpal blade - snickersnack...

Gretchen Leary said...

Wow, very intense creativity here. An internal battle. I know the feeling all too well. Nice job! :)

Anna Montgomery said...

I agree with Claudia on the intensity and it can feel that to write down trauma will make it worse. A memoir is a quite a feat, best of luck as you continue to fight the good fight. Thanks so much for joining us!